New track yee
Stuff on my Mind
So recently a friend of mine named Samir Pendse passed away. I was looking through our past convorsations and this one really just made me feel so much emotion:
[23:57] kinganandk: wsup man how u feeling?
[23:57] Samir Pendse: Srry about wat happened earlier lol
[23:57] kinganandk: haha its cool man
[23:57] Samir Pendse: I’m doing good ty for asking! :D
[23:58] kinganandk: haha did u see my sign on ur card?
[23:58] Samir Pendse: I’m in the hospital but I think I’ll be out by Wednesday :)
[23:58] kinganandk: ohhh
[23:58] kinganandk: fsho fsho
[23:58] kinganandk: ill def. meet up with you bro
Throughout his life, Samir was always an optimistic guy. Being a patient with Leukemia bedridden in a hospital, it’s truly amazing how he could keep himself so upbeat about life-something he didn’t have much of left. He makes me realize a lot of things.
Many times when stuff happens in my life, I always tell myself that I’m unlucky. A lot of stuff has happened to me over the years like my wallet being stolen three times, me getting mugged, getting into two car accidents, etc. I always used to consider myself unlucky. However, after looking at Samir I realize just how lucky I am. He was stuck in bed, without any forms of human interactions for hours on end and guess what, he even had a 3.8 GPA and ranked 37th in the class of 2011.
If such a bright aspiring student with so much potential can be happy even at the face of death-then I’m nothing but a whiny bitch.
I feel disgusted at myself for that and the fact that I took him for granted. I used to see him at the park every time I went and the poor guy couldn’t play basketball at all and would frequently lose his breath. He would sometimes sit and watch us play. Now that I think of it-imagine that. Imagine watching all your friends play basketball while you helplessly sit on the side cheering. Even though a normal person would just sit down and mope at their misfortune, Samir cheered for us. He encouraged us to play the game he couldn’t play.
What really got me infuriated at myself was the fact that I said I would definitely visit him. I never did…
Words cannot describe how much I wish I could just rewind life and visit him at least to just see him. It’s not that big of a deal for me to go visit him but hell, it would mean the world to him.
If it were something else, I would say “I didn’t have the time” - what has now become a universal excuse for everything. But no one can ever say that if someone like Samir-who had less time than all of us, took his time to chat with me, talk to me, encourage me, play basketball with me, and also study. If you were at the gates of heaven, you would forget your Earthly duties. But not Samir. Even though he had a weak heart-he had strong drive.
Amidst all this self disguist and anguish, I began to wonder what I’m sure everyone wonders when someone like this passes away - Why him?
Of all the sick, terrible, nasty bastards in the world, why did this innocent, bright, ambitious, and kind kid have to pass away? What wrong has he done?
He didn’t choose Leukemia.
What pains me is the fact that I didn’t even know him all that well yet I feel this emotional. I wonder how people that know him very well feel. Recently there has been a lot of death around me. My great grandmother passed away, my uncle, and now Samir. I don’t know what it is that makes Samir’s death touch me the most, but certainly it hurts to see someone almost your age pass away.
I still remember that day on the swing me and him were sitting and he listened to my rap the first time. It was sometime in 4th or 5th grade during Nihar’s birthday party. I didn’t really like him but he was the first audience member I had and he told me I was “pretty freaking good”.
Sorry for making this such a long post but I had a lot of stuff on my mind.
Lastly, I’d just like to say RIP Samir. Thanks for being a great friend and a greater teacher. He truly was “my nigga til death”.
Anonymous: I'm sorry.
for what?
Anonymous: Are you content with your life?
sorta…a little restless
Anonymous: What are you afraid off?
bugs
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Do It
I see a lot of posts circulating around like “reblog if you wish cancer didn’t exist”
I don’t feel the need to reblog such posts.
Reblogging aint gonna do shit.
Don’t wish it, do it.
No offense to anyone that did reblog it, I know it was from a good place.
But sending a picture of your homework to everyone isn’t gonna solve the problems on it.
Oh So Naive
Bill Gates never graduated
Steve Jobs never graduated
Mark Zuckerberg never graduated
They are multi-billionaires
My mom graduated
My dad graduated
Your mom graduated
Your dad graduated
They aren’t even close to millionaires
I’m not saying don’t graduate. I’m saying bear in mind that school and book smarts isn’t all you need for success in this world.
It's not awesome...without "me"...get it?
